In a society riddled with guilt, shame, and judgement it takes a solid, conscious effort to stay out of the traps and living without fear. We have been conditioned to be controlled by these constructs and to accept them as viable forms of interactions. I am here to tell you; they are for the most part not functional.
According to Oxford Dictionary guilt is defined as: the fact of having committed a specified or implied offense or crime; a feeling of having done wrong or failed in an obligation. Shame is defined as: a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior. Judgement is defined as: the ability to make considered decisions or come to sensible conclusions; an opinion or conclusion; a misfortune or calamity viewed as a divine punishment.
Guilt says, I did something wrong (which could be true – reference the 10 Commandments or the Bill of Rights or the Bible or whatever helps you set your Moral Compass.) Shame says, I am something wrong. Judgement says, it is truth without further consideration.
Let's start with the fact that wrong is subjective. Wrong is in the eyes of the beholder and I believe linked to intent. We have come to believe that right and wrong serve a purpose, are good measures, and that there are no gray areas; that if I am right, you must be wrong. We have made right and wrong absolutes. When in reality, your truth may not be my truth which does not equate to either being lies or either being wrong.
Our lives are filled with so many choices. We decide for ourselves (and hopefully without fear of other’s opinions) what choices we make and in turn how we will deal with any consequences. There seems to always be someone there to tell you what they would've done differently; what they think is right; what is offensive; what is wrong with you and your actions. Forget about the somebodies, only you have to live in your mind, body, and spirit.
What if we shift the focus? What if we deny shame and guilt? What if we come back to what everyone is doing "right?" Have we lost the shared ideology that we are all in this together; that we all have the same goals of love, acceptance, connection; prosperity, abundance; that by looking at what's working right and how we are in this together we can approach what's not working with more ease and a greater chance of resolution. We make this life far more difficult by living in fear and worrying about other's opinions. We were born to be free, to be honest, to love, to grow, and to share our gifts with those around us.
Right now, I invite you to dare greatly. Bet on yourself. Work fearlessly towards your goals. Accept your callings. Decide your own path. Craft your perfect life. Live brave and vulnerable. Count your blessings. Pass grace to yourself and those around you. Stop harshly judging yourself and others; we are all doing the best we can at any given moment. Commit to living free of fear, judgement, guilt, shame and the opinions of others.
Own and share your truth because truth is beautiful!
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